Just had Korean bbq prepared by housemates Ethan and Yeong i. Nice conversation. Can’t imagine serving in the South Korean army. Evidently according to Ethan it can be a traumatic experience.
I woke up today at 2pm. The cyclobenzaprine evidently has a very strong sedating effect, and I probably also needed the extra sleep. Nonetheless for the rest of the afternoon and early evening so far I have felt lethargic and have had an ennui I can’t shake off. Occasionally I get this, whether I am under the influence of a medication or not. I is a feeling of waste and purposeless in my life. I wonder if this is a common experience or if I am unique in having it. I think those who are parents and are manual laborers perhaps don’t to the same exent, since their purpose is laid out for them each day. Perhaps that is the burden and blessing of being an independent unattached adult, the extra time to assess ones’ merit and position in the scheme of things. I will hold off on the cyclobenzapine for a while.
I have thought of what I can do to get out there in the world and see what Seattle really has to offer. Perhaps I will attend the Buddhist meditation again tomorrow evening. That will be relaxing. I’ll call Genevieve. I have also thought of attending the Episcopal church again. But how very dreadful. The ceremony and music are nice, and after the communion I feel I might be redeemed, but attending the service is the next worse thing to actually being English. When I go I always make the mistake of thinking that it might be nice to stay after the service for the coffee social. It is like attending the funeral of someone whose relatives you don’t know. I always get stuck at the table of the matron of the church who was present at its founding back in the 1920s. She will inadvertently ask me where I am from and I will have to explain that I am from Arkansas, after which there is a cold silence. This always flummoxes them. What is this Arkansan doing in our universe?
Or perhaps I could go down to the freak show that is the Fremont Summer Solstice Fair. I missed the parade today, as I was still sound asleep. It must have been quite chilly for the naked bicyclists, but I don’t pity them. Some of them I do envy.
I could sleep in again. It is still the weekend after all.
2 comments:
Think a lot of us recovering from hard-core religions, gravitate toward the Buddhists. I go, and every week, am very clear that I am not a Buddhist; just want to meditate and hang. In conversation, I like to say "I will never be a Buddhist" because, to my very great delight, no Buddhist out there will say anything, but "Okay, that's fine. See you next week." It's like release from Baptist purgatory.
Thanks for pointing that out Jen. I am interested in many aspects of Buddhism, and I think recovering fundamentalists can be drawn to Buddhism because the philosophy is in general pacifist, and can be seen as a refuge. And Buddhists generally don't shout at you.
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